Coming Home

Ten more days until i come home! i don´t even really know what to say because i´m just so mixed up right now about coming home. i´m bursting with excitement and is like almost all i think about. i just think about seeing everyone and hanging out and what i´m gonna do and all this stuff. then i think about this being over and then i´m thinking, oh no what am i gonna do... i´ve built this life and it will just all be torn down in a single second. the only thing i´ve built that going to stay with me is my realtionship with God and it is really the single thing i have to cling on. i wrote a poem about it this morning. It´s just hard stuff to let go of. Well alot of the discomforts are not, but letting go of your life isn´t easy at all. Yet that is what God has called me to do. All of us.´´loose your life and you will find it´´. i´m starting to see what that means a little. i have never thought that would include losing the ¨missionary life´´ but it does. Also, the world i have left at home that has gone on without me.... i can´t hold on to it like it´s my world anymore because its not. everything i have built will be torn down. i was asking God this morning ´´what is it even worth´´. and i have come to learn that the real home i have is in the arms of my father. it is the place i can take every where, the only place there is no lonliness, and the only place i am really me. as i let him hold me and press my ear to his chest, his heart says ´´You are worth it to me´´. That´s what this time has been all about. Not about ´´this world of mine´´ or ´´that world of ours´´ but about home, my real home. Dear God, take my worlds apart.