Renovations

Hello Again Family and Friends!
I'm back in Costa Rica which means I am on the blog again. I hope that even through the few words I share with you, you can get a little glimpse of what Jesus is doing in my life.
Before I made the trip back here about a month ago I was praying with some friends and they asked me what was on my heart for this time I have in Costa Rica and what I want prayer for. It took me a few moments to answer because I don't think anyone had asked me a question about this before that moment. I searched deep inside of myself and the only thing I could come up with is, "I don't really know what going to do this school means for my life and the plan God has for it. I can't see how it fits in the big picture and honestly, I don't completely know what it is really about. All I know is this is the next step God is asking me to take. I think I better listen to him because he sees the picture that I can't see and I know that he has given me this next step for a reason. Pray that even though I am going where I feel God is leading me, that I don't take this step alone. If i don't take this step with God then it is as dangerous as if I were to walk in the opposite direction." I believe God planted something in my heart that night that has been growing and blossoming in this past month. Even though I am here studying in a school of community development, I am finding that God is developing me in ways I never could have imagined.
When I arrived, I was asked that same sort of question over and over again. "Why are you here? What do you want to get out of this school? What is God putting in your heart?" At first I was still struggling with how to answer these questions and sometimes, when I felt I had to be completely honest, I said, "I don't know exactly". Yes, at first, I was even doubting if I was supposed to be here at all because I felt guilty about leaving home. There were times when I was so broken. OK... most of the time. Yet, it was in this brokenness that I began laying my life in Jesus' hands. I began asking him questions that I never dared to ask before. Then something amazing happened. He started answering me. Every speaker that has come to teach has said things that are so applicable in my life and have even spoken things specifically into my life. Every moment I quiet all the noise in my head, God speaks tenderly to my heart. The more questions I have answered, the more I have to ask. The moment God heals one broken place within me, he shows me three more broken places. The reason for God bringing me here to do this development school is clear to me now. He brought me here to change my life. He brought me here so I can see the intentions he has for me and so I can start to move towards those intentions. He brought me here to make me me. That is exactly what he has been doing. The more I run after him, the more he transforms me into who he has intended me to be. A very important thing I must clarify about this: I don't just mean "who I am" in the spiritual sense. God is for sure working on the spiritual area of my life, but he is also renovating me in the physical area, the social area, and in the area of wisdom. This is God: he is not a God that is far away, but he is a God who is near and he is a God that wants to be involved in every area of your life. He is relevant for every part of your life. That makes sense because you were created by him and for him, right?
God is also giving me his vision during this time. He is changing the way I see everything- starting with him, then myself, then people, then communities, then the world. Even as he is uprooting all the crap out of my heart he is planing truth within me and that truth is growing into a dream. Not a dream that comes from me, but a dream that is a part of Jesus' dream.
Maybe what I am saying sounds more poetic than real-life, but I hope this sets the stage for me to share some more specific things that God is talking to me about and what I have been learning/doing. I love feedback so feel free to comment or email me if you want to talk about anything in my blogs, if there is anything specific you want to hear about, or if you have any questions. Thanks for praying for me! Keep praying that The Lord Will have his way in me.